Ideas I Can't Write Actual Stories For
by Drindrak
Summary: A bunch of random Naruto fanfic tidbits I thought up, wrote down, but never finished. Some Crossovers. All of these are up for grabs! If you want an idea featured here, just PM me.


**Naruto Fanfic Idea #1**

**My Title:**** Akatsuki Kiddo**

**Main Characters:**** Akatsuki, OC**

**Pairings?**** None.**

**Idea:**** The Akatsuki are magically transported into our worlds as children. Amazing.**

* * *

"Well, it appears that we are children. And our clothes don't fit." Pein said, attempting to look at his members from under his headband. "Okay, take off your cloaks. Also, any ideas as to how we got into this position?" He demanded, taking off his cloak and headband.

"Un." Deidara said, removing his cloak.

"Hn." Itachi grunted, doing the same as he lifted his headband to glare at Kisame.

"Yeah, yeah." Kisame glared right back, his cloak already off.

"This fucking sucks!" Hidan growled at a scowling Kakuzu, as they each removed their cloaks.

"How does your **mask still **fit?" Zetsu asked Tobi, as his cloak fell to the ground.

"Tobi doesn't know!"

"Just **take your cloak** off, **baka**."

"Sure thing Mister Zetsu!" Tobi shook his cloak off, and picked up Zetsu's.

"Why am I here?" Sasori asked, handing over his cloak to Tobi.

"Sasori? Why are you here? Aren't you dead?"

"I don-"

"I said not to call it that!" A voice yelled in the distance.

"What was that? Sasori, Deidara! Go check it out!" Pein demanded, throwing his arm out for effect.

"Hai, Leader-sama(un)!" Deidara and Sasori saluted, then vanished. Pein took a look around, noticing that someone was missing.

"Where's Konan?"

* * *

Sasori planted himself against the wall, Deidara doing the same. He poked his head out, looking straight into deep green eyes. His own eyes widened, as he pulled back, startling Deidara.

"Ow! Danna! What the heck, yeah!"

"Shut it brat! There are two teenagers walking this way, fast. Let's report to Leader."

"Right, yeah!" They both made a sign with their hands, vanishing a second later.

They reappeared a few feet behind the rest of the Akatsuki. "Leader-sama, hm!"

"Deidara, Sasori. Did you find out who made that shout?"

"Teenagers, Leader-sama. Two of them. They are walking fast this way."

"Good job."

"Thanks, un."

* * *

"Jordan, I'm tellin' you! I saw this red headed kid, and he just vanished!" A girl shouted, an unknown accent marking the words. Her green eyes glared flames at the boy next to her.

"Yeah, sure Taylor."

"I really saw him!"

"Are you sure brown is your natural hair colour?"

"Are you sure your not a dick?"

"Touché."

"Damn straight. Now, I actually did see that kid."

"Fine! We'll spend ten minutes looking for him. If we don't find him, we're going back to Grandpa's."

"Yeah!" She took off down an alleyway, ignoring the other boy's protests.

* * *

"Leader-sama, what do you propose we do about our... 'problem'?" Kakuzu asked, as he gestured to himself and Hidan.

"Well, we'll need a place to stay, and we still have to find Konan. I say we convince those teenagers to take us to their house, as we search for Konan."

"Ah, I see. That sounds like a foolproof plan." He said absentmindedly, as he raided the pockets of his cloak for money.

"Yes. Sasori, go and lead them here."

"Hai." Sasori disappeared.

"Zetsu."

"Yes, **Leader-sama**?"

"Can you still use your chakra?"

"**Hai.**"

"Good. Now, I want you to scout for Konan."

"Hai." Zetsu grinned as he descended into the ground.

* * *

"Now, why don't you believe me?"

"If I believed everything that came out of your mouth, we'd have been dead quite a while ago."

"...Whatever."

"Taylor! Don't be like that!" The girl, now dubbed Taylor, blinked.

"Be like what?"

"Just... Nevermind."

* * *

"Where are those two?" Sasori grumbled, running through alleyways.

"Jordan! You asshole!"

"Found them." He ran towards their voices. Just as he was about there, he tripped over his pants. "Ah!" He hit the ground hard, with a loud thud.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah."

Sasori sat up gently, holding his forehead. "Ouch." _'That's weird... I'm a puppet, how did I feel that?'_ He thought, as he felt something run down his hand. Footsteps could be heard from nearby. He brought his hand down, seeing the offending red substance. "Blood?"

This was the scene Taylor and Jordan stumbled upon. The redheaded kid was just staring at his hand, which was covered in what looked like blood. "Blood?" They heard him ask.

"Oi kid. Are ya' alright?" Taylor spoke slowly, so they wouldn't startle him. He leaped to his feet, took a glance in their direction, and took off down the alleyway they were in. "Hey! Wait a moment!" Taylor tore off after him, leaving Jordan to sigh and call their grandparents, to tell them they'd be home late.

* * *

Sasori continued running, leading the girl towards their leader. He found it odd that the boy had not immediately come too, but he only needed one of them. He turned the final corner, his eyes registering Pein before anyone else. "Leader-sama!"

"Sasori. Did you succeed?"

"Y-Yeah. She'll be here in a second." Sasori gasped out, clearly out of breath.

"She? Wasn't there two of them?"

"The boy didn't immediately follow, but the girl took the bait." Sasori wiped sweat from his brow, but he flinched as he swiped his wound from earlier.

"Sasori-danna? Are you hurt, yeah?"

"Yeah brat. Anyone got some bandages?" He asked, as blood started dripping down his forehead. Deidara rummaged around in his cloak for a few seconds.

"Here Danna, hm."

* * *

"Fuck, that kid can run!" Taylor growled, as she turned the corner she saw the kid disappear around. She stopped and blinked at the scene in front of her. "I think I'm going fuckin' crazy. There's a bunch of children who look like the Akatsuki in front of me..." She slapped herself across the face. "Nope, not dreamin'." She finished talking to herself, and saw that every kid was looking at her surprised.

"What the fuck! Who is this whore?" The kid who looked like Hidan said.

"Hey! Fuck you, you fuckin' bastard child!" As one could see, Taylor did not like being cussed at. No, she preferred cussing people out.

"Oh FUCK NO! You better not be fucking trying to out cuss me!"

"What if fuckin' am?!"

"_**STOP! NOW!**_" The Pein look-a-like said.

"Whoa. You have a great leadin' voice."

"What is your name girl." 'Pein' demanded.

"Taylor. Why?"

"Hmm. Where do you live?" Taylor just looked at him.

"STALKER CHILDREN!" She pointed at him.

"_**SHUT UP! NOW,**_ tell us."

"I-I live just outside the city."

"Where our we?"

"Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada." 'Pein' raised a brow.

"Where?"

"Winnipeg, Manitoba. Canada?" Nothing. "North America? Earth?" Still nothing. "The MILKY WAY?!" Taylor stared at them. "Wow, either you're all from a different dimension, or you're all just retarded. What's your name anyways?"

"I am Pein. All of those places you mentioned do not register with me."

"Pein? Are you by any chance the leader of an organization called Akatsuki?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Fuck my life." She said, as she introduced her hand to her forehead.

"A-hem. Anyways, we are in need of a place to stay. Can you take us to your house?"

"Ugh. Yeah, why not. Follow me."

* * *

Taylor led the Akatsuki to her grandparents' house. She showed them to her grandma's 'Rapist Van', as she had so dutifully dubbed it. "Stay in here, I'll be right back." She slammed the van doors closed, then ran off into the house.

"She left us alone in a dark box thing, un."

"I think she called it a 'Rapist Van'. I wonder why?" Kisame thought aloud.

"Hn." Itachi responded, trying to figure out exactly where they were.

"GRANDMA! I'm stealin' your van!" Taylor yelled, bursting through the door, snatching the keys off of the key rack.

"Okay hun! Just bring it back soon, m'mkay?"

"RIGHT!"

Taylor ran back to the van, wrenching open the doors. "Hey, it's illegal for me to have passengers under seven in a vehicle while I'm drivin', so your all gonna have to shut the fuck up." She then closed the doors, but not before Tobi could jump out.

"Pretty lady! What is a vehicle?"

""Well, _Tobi_, it's a form of transportation."

"Are the walls soundproof?" He asked innocently, his voice dropping an octave.

"Yep. That's why I call it a Rapist Van."

"I see." His voice completely lost it's childishness.

"Ooh, finally decide to show your real self?"

"You know who I am."

"No, I know who you _claim_ to be."

"You even know that part too..."

"Yeah, well, a lot of people here know who you really say you are."

"How many?"

"So many that you wont be able too find most of them." Tobi just glared at her from under his mask. "Oh yeah. I've been meanin' to ask..."

"What."

"How does your mask still fit?"

"I really do not know. Zetsu asked me that question earlier. Wait... ZETSU!" He regained his childish voice and threw open the doors to the van. "Leader-sama! We forgot about Mister Zetsu!" Pein jumped out of the back.

"Girl. We need to wait for Zetsu."

"How about I take you guys to my house, then come back with one or two of you?"

"Fine."

"One of you could ride up front with me you know."

"I'll ride up front with her. Tobi, you ride with the others." Tobi nodded, then jumped back into the van, shutting the doors behind him.

"Well, let's go!"

* * *

The drive wasn't very exciting, and neither was the drop off. No, the most exciting part was when Taylor switched cars and took Pein, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Tobi back into the city. "Whoa! This is a different ve-veh-err... whatchamacallit than before!" Hidan exclaimed, clearly surprised at the different car.

"It's a VEHICLE and there are many types of them." Taylor said, trying hard to focus on the road.

"Oh. Well, you can drop me and 'Kuzu off here." She stopped the car and literally threw Hidan and Kakuzu from her car.

"I'll pick you up soon! Try not to get caught!" She slammed the door and took off down the road before Hidan could respond.

"Phew. Thought he'd never leave. Now, who're we lookin' for?" She asked, glancing at Pein.

"We are looking for Konan and Zetsu. And some new clothes."

"Ah, well, there's a clothes store right there."

"Then let's go in." Taylor nodded, pulling to a stop in front of the store.

"It's almost closin' time, so we gotta hurry." They hopped from the car, and ran inside the store. "Split up, and find somethin' for each of you to wear."

"What about you?"

"I need to talk to the clerk for a second." Tobi ran off, putting on his facade while in public. Pein sighed, then ran off after him.

"Leader-sama! Look at all these clothes! Tobi's never seen so many!" Tobi exclaimed, as Pein slid to a stop next to him. Pein looked around, glancing briefly at the shirts. His eyes widened, then he did a double-take at the shirts.

"Tobi... Is that not our organization's symbol on that shirt there?" He said, pointing towards a black shirt with the Akatsuki cloud on it.

"It is, Leader-sama!"

"... She said she knew the same way everyone else did... But she never told us how she and everyone knew..."

"Right! And Tobi can't believe the chakra signatures here! Everyone here only has enough in them to live! How would they preform ninjutsu or genjutsu?"

"We don't." Taylor said, walking up from behind them.

"What do you mean?"

"People here don't use ninjutsu or genjutsu. Here, it's all just fake things that children and hardcore fans try to replicate."

"Hmm. Anyways, would you tell us why our symbol is on that shirt?" Pein demands, pointing towards said shirt. "And how exactly did you know who we are?"

"Well, to answer both your questions at once, you guys were created by some Japanese dude."

"And how does that answer our questions?"

"Well, that means you guys are fictional, you know, not real." The gave her a look that said "seriously?". Taylor sighed, then began explaining to them that they were characters from an anime/manga. Pein's eyes widened for a second, then settled into a glare at the ground.

"Hmm, that's eye opening. ..." He looks at Taylor. "You're going to buy all of the shirts like that they have in stock."

"What about pants?"

"We'll get some."

"Okay, whatever you say." She grabbed the shirt, then disappeared towards the front of the store.

"Tobi. We need to hurry. Just grab whatever you think would fit all of us. But no shirts. We already have that covered."

"Hai Leader-sama! Tobi will do as asked! Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi then ran off, grabbing random pairs of pants from the racks and shelves. Pein sighed, then followed Tobi's example. But of course, he was more mature about it.

"Ooooooooooi! Cashier lady!" Taylor shouted, obviously annoyed at the cashier.

"What, brat!"

"I need every shirt like this one-" She held up the Akatsuki shirt. "-you have in stock. Can you do it?"

"Sure. Nobody's been buying that type of shirt anyways. Follow me." The cashier walked towards a door near the back, beckoning Taylor to follow with her hand.

* * *

"Tobi, next time I'm getting **everything**." Pein said, as he tried to direct Tobi, who had a giant stack of pants and shorts in his arms, towards the front.

"Tobi understands, Leader-sama..."

* * *

Taylor came out to the front pushing a giant cart with several boxes on it. Pein and Tobi were already there, a giant pile of garments on the cash-out counter. "There you are."

"Ugh. Excuse me, but how much is this going to cost?"

"Well, those shirts are on 99% off, and these other garments are 50% off because of our opening sale. So..." The cashier punched in a bunch of numbers on the register. "About $56.87."

"Really?! Awesome."

After everything was paid for and in the car, the three started driving around. "Blue hair... Blue hair..." Taylor murmured, her eyes scanning the sidewalks.

"What are you murmuring?"

"Blue hair. Konan has blue hair, right?"

"Yes."

"Then why'd you..." She trailed off, her eyes focused on one spot in the distance. "I may have found her. Let's speed up." She hit the accelerator, speeding towards the bob of blue in the distance. Pein looked up from his feet.

"Ah! That's her..." Taylor stops the car, and hops out.

"Comin'?" Tobi and Pein nodded, jumping out of the car like ninjas. The run to catch up with whom the assumed was Konan. They get close, close enough for them to see an **ADULT** Konan holding on to a child with red hair.

"What the..."

"Hey Pein?"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't she holdin' your real body? You know, Nagato?" Pein just gave her a sideways glance, and sped up. "Oi! PEIN! Wait a second!" At the shout of Pein's name, Konan turned around.

"Pein? Is that you?" Pein slid to a stop in front of her.

"Yeah, it's me. Why are you holding Nagato?"

"Because he happened to be near me when I woke up." Pein nodded, then grabbed Konan's free hand and started dragging her towards Taylor, who had stopped a few metres away.

"Konan, this is Taylor. She has been hospitable enough to let us stay in her home."

"Pein, you asshole... You left me with Tobi! ALONE! I'll have you know, I'm slightly afraid of him!" Taylor shouted. She looked at Konan. "Hello Konan."

"Hello."

"Well, this is weird..." A new voice said quietly.

"Nagato! What's weird?" The redhead peered at Pein.

"I am no longer in control of Yahiko's body. It is running fully on it's own." Pein gave a questioning glare at Nagato.

"Who's Yahiko? I am Pein." Everyone stared at him. Konan blinked, and asked,

"What are you talking about. You are Yahiko." Pein looked at her, then shifted his gaze to Taylor.

"Tell her girl. You know everything about us, right?"

"Yeah, I do. But what they say is true. You were Yahiko."

"But I am not."

"Well, that's because Yahiko died, and Nagato possessed his body to create you, Pein. Obviously, you don't remember being Yahiko, you only remember being Pein." Konan gave her a thoughtful look.

"That... makes perfect sense."

"That it does." Nagato said, before turning to Pein. "How are we getting back to her house?"

"By this thing called a 'vehicle'. But first, we need to find Zetsu."

"No need... **Leader-sama...**" Zetsu popped out of the ground, right next to Tobi.

"YAY! Mister Zetsu! We found you! Tobi missed you, did you miss Tobi?!"

"No,** we didn't**."

"You're so meeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaan! Mister Zetsu!"

"Let's go find Kakuzu and Hidan. Then, we're going back to the house." Taylor said, turning around and stalking off towards her car.

* * *

**A/N: And thats all I have. I got bored of this one, so this will be my first Naruto Idea up! Of course, if you want it, your OCs can be named anything.**


End file.
